Song for my Dad

My best friend always used to tell me that I was kind of slow. Except, she said it nicely:  "Beccah, you live in a hole, under a rock that's soundproofed, but you have an oatmeal raisin cookie, so it's okay." In fact, she was so enamored of this description of me that she drew it on my Spanish book in our senior year of high school.

The point of this is not to tell you about the wonderful, special relationship I have with the insane girl I call my best friend; that's for another post. The point is to tell you just how ignorant I can be of things, even when they are staring me in the face. The latest example of this is that, until today (when I looked at a calendar), I was completely convinced that Father's Day was this weekend, not last weekend.

Yes, I know. I have perception issues.

When I discovered this, I felt absolutely and totally horrible. Not just because I missed the day that basically everyone is obligated to tell their father that they love them, but because my dad absolutely deserves to be told every day how wonderful he is, and I don't do it nearly enough.

I get much of my quirky personality from my mom, but basically everything else comes from my dad. My eyes, my bushy eyebrows, my horribly crooked smile that got corrected by braces in middle school, my need to take care of everyone that I love when they're down or ill, my passion for cooking random and exotic things, much of my love of eating... I could keep going on, telling you how we're both non-confrontational and have a love of books beyond most anything, but you get the idea.

When my brother left for college, I got really close to my dad. My parents divorced when I was in grade school, and I live with my mom. As any sixteen year old can attest, that's about the age where you start fighting with your mom about nearly everything. My mom and I rarely had any big blowouts, but things were stressed, to be frank.

That's when I turned to my dad. I didn't live with him, so he was a welcome respite to the tension in my house. We'd chill out in his apartment, making three bean enchiladas together and watching Criminal Minds or a movie until late at night. We'd talk about anything and everything, take turns kicking ass at gin rummy and Clue, trade books - it was a great time.

I loved those weekends we spent together. They were my lifeline into my family, my reminder that things will one day get better between me and my mom. My dad and I had a rough patch when I was younger, but the fact that we got through it and were now baking and laughing together again filled me with hope. *

When my family was dropping me off at college, there was a moment. My dad had been completely stoic all throughout the day - helping me get my room set up, taking a tour of my school (he hadn't seen it before move in day), going through all the workshops they had set up. Then came the time to say goodbye. His flight was in a couple hours, and he and Jo had to leave in order to make their flight. He gave me a giant hug, and said, "Be good, kiddo," like always.

I don't remember seeing my dad cry before then.

Saying goodbye in the Kettering parking lot

Since then, we've had a different relationship, but still are wicked close. I only see him a few times a year, but the times I do I treasure beyond measure and we usually stay up half the night talking. I eagerly await his care packages (he still is the only person to have sent me newly picked apples!) and emails. Since he's gotten a Facebook, he now knows far more about my life (I'm a bit of a social networking junkie) and isn't surprised by what color my hair is when I come home.

I love him more than anything in this world (excepting other family members that I love just as much).

The sad part is that I've never really told him all of this. I've teased him for driving like a turtle (another thing we have in common!) and told him how much I love his cooking. I've congratulated him on his new job and thanked him for all the things he's given me over the years. Whenever we talk, I sign off with an "I love you," but I never really expressed to exactly what means to me.

My brother, Dad, and I at Christmas 2011

That's what makes missing Father's Day this year so deplorable to me. How could I not realize that it was the one day of the year to tell someone who means so much to me how much I love him?

So, that's why I decided that this year, my dad gets his very own Father's Day. It may be a week later than everyone else's, but hey, good things come to those who wait, right? Delayed gratification or whatnot.

My dad isn't perfect. We've had our issues, our disagreements, our bad times. But I am so, so incredibly lucky to have him in my life - he's the best dad that any girl could ask for.

So Pops, this is for you. For all of the games of badminton we played, for all of the tennis games you watched me lose at, for the loaves of zucchini bread you've sent me, for all the good times and bad.

Happy Father's Day!

Note: replace all "son"s in the song with "daughter", please. <3
Note 2: Sorry it's just a giant picture of Keith Urban; I couldn't find a better video.


*For all those interested, my mom and I are on much better terms now. We even have a mini vacation planned in less than a month together for my 21st birthday, just after a mini vacation with my dad to New Hampshire with a bunch of relatives!

Don't Be Stupid-Stand Up for Yourself!

When I was in high school, I was on the Girl's Tennis Team. We weren't very good; in fact, we lost much, much more than we won in our matches. I wasn't a spectacular player, either. My coach always told me that I needed to be more vicious, to try and actually beast win a point as opposed to waiting for the other player to make a mistake. And yet, my Junior year of high school, I was unanimously voted as co-captain of the team.

Well, not unanimously, technically. When my coach gave me the news that I was made captain, he told me that everyone except one person voted for me. When I told him that I hadn't voted for myself, he said something that stuck with me for years afterwards:

"Well, that was stupid. If you don't promote yourself, then who will?"

In the years since then, I've realized exactly how true that statement is.

People in this world are selfish. They look out for themselves and for those who they are obligated to, whether they be family or friends. They aren't going to be worried about anyone they don't have to. Why are they going to take the time out of their day to help you? Realistically, they won't. Unless you promote yourself and tell everyone how wonderful you are, why you deserve a promotion or a pay raise, then you're not going to get it. Instead, you're going to be passed over for someone who's willing to stand up for themselves.

So stand up for yourself. Put yourself in the best position to succeed and do well. Don't brag, but don't be a wallflower. Vote for yourself, if you want a position. But most importantly, be yourself and be out there.

Adventures in American Sign Language

Me attempting to sign a complete sentence! Yay sign language!!

The site I've been teaching myself ASL from: http://www.lifeprint.com/index.htm. You should check them out!

Note: I realize I'm kind of horrible at finger spelling. I need lots of practice. But it's fun! :)

Let thy food be thy medicine

Many people who know me know that I'm a bit of a foodie. I absolutely adore cooking anything and everything (especially when it involves chocolate), eating whatever is set in front of me, and,most importantly, eating the things I cook. There's just something about filling the air with savory spices and pungent odors that represent the wonderful meal you're about to consume.

 Lately, my passion for food and cooking has led me to watch a lot of food documentaries on Netflix. One of them, Forks Over Knives, made a huge impression on me and totally changed how I see food. In essence, this documentary is about the concept of a whole foods, non-meat diet. Using a combination of science and statistics, the film seeks to prove that eating less processed food and animal products would not only cut down on the obesity epidemic in this country, but also help to retard or eliminate many other diseases, including liver cancer. Furthermore, even those people who do not have a particular devastating disease are so jacked up on caffeinated beverages, sugar, and various medications that they are masking their chronic fatigue and general lack of health.

I know it sounds crazy, but a person's diet can radically influence their health, in more ways than just controlling their weight. Think about it: the food you consume is the fuel your body runs on. If you put diesel in a non-diesel car, it more than likely will kill the engine. If you put crap food into your body, then it probably won't perform well. This concept has been known and understood for a while. Hippocrates, the founder of modern medicine, even said "Let thy food be thy medicine."

 What concerns me is the fact that people don't take this seriously, even with the abysmal health statistics we have in this country today. A quarter of all four year-olds in this country are obese. Doesn't that raise a red flag for you?

Take my co-op for example. I work on a team of nine software developers. Other than me, there are only two other people that I can think of that actually like to eat vegetables. One of my coworkers even makes fun of my daily snacks of fresh veggies when I bring them into meetings. Apparently, they all taste like grass. All of us are overweight, and the people who are older have more than their fair share of health problems; one person even misses more work than not for various doctor's appointments. All of them are also addicted to caffeine to get through the day, many needing multiple cups of coffee or cans of soda to wake up and be productive.

I don't understand this mentality. Yes, food that's crappy for you tastes delicious, like cookies and chocolate and chocolate cookies. But, at the same time, food is your body's fuel. It's what makes it possible for you to live, move, and exist. The better you fuel your body, the better you feel and the less you'll have issues. I know this from experience.

When I was at school in the winter, I was basically eating crappy food most of the time. It was easier to get, cheaper, and just there. I was kind of sluggish, stressed, and not in the best mental state, if you know what I mean. Then, when I got on work term, I was able to buy my own groceries and cook all the time. I started eating a lot more fruits and vegetables, cut way down on the junk, and started exercising. And, it was like a miracle: I felt so, so much better. I had energy up the wazoo, I was losing weight, and I finally didn't want to sleep the day away. In fact, I started getting up early! I felt so mentally and physically wonderful that I couldn't believe it.

I admit, I started getting a little fanatical about eating healthy. I wouldn't buy or eat junk food, and I even decided to not eat processed foods for a week. Yeah. That didn't end too well. I broke down on day 3 and made myself a tuna fish sandwich. It was fantastic.

It was that moment that I came to a conclusion: food is all about moderation. It's okay to have junk food every now and then, as long as healthy, fresh foods are the staple of your diet. I'm not obese or severely ill, so I don't need to restrict myself to only eating healthily. I still can enjoy my favorite junk foods, like the oatmeal raisin whoopee pies I got today at the farmer's market (gosh... oatmeal raisin is AMAZING!!!). But I also mostly eat healthy things, like spinach, sunflower seeds, lots of fruits and vegetables and healthy proteins (read: no red meat). And it's worked for me. There's so much deliciousness that I don't feel deprived, but I still feel wicked healthy and happy. That's amazing to me.

So why can't the majority of our country see this? We spend more money of health insurance and medical bills than any other country in the world, and yet we don't take the time to take care of ourselves properly. If people ate healthier and just took better care of themselves, we as a society would not have the current obesity epidemic. But no. Our society is full of McDonald's and Burger King, fast food havens that give you a day's worth of calories with basically no nutritional value. Our society has break rooms like ours, where caffeine and junk food snacks are the norm and only option. And until our society wakes up, realizes that they can live healthily and still be happy, and demands something else, nothing is going to change.

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Note: You all should watch Forks Over Knives. It's on Netflix, and totally worth the hour and a half of your time to watch it.

Another Note: Anyone interesting in making a cooking club back on campus? Once a week, we'd make healthy food in the dorm kitchens, showing people how to make healthy, delicious food and better life choices while they are back at school.

One Last Note: Thanks for reading!